My Limerick (& some haikus and poems) Collection inventive friends have given as gifts:




From Joy: (Dec,2015)

Kelsy hoped to be this verse's muse
And I could not politely refuse
          So I said I would edit
          And take all the credit
Now we don't know which line is whose.

From Kelsy: (Dec, 2015)

When told to write Viktors a verse,
I could do nothing but curse
          Cuz rhymings's a chore,
          Though this limerick's no bore,
I'm sure no one else could do worse.

From Kodiak: (Dec, 2015)

There are snowflakes in my ear:
No, I'm not shaking with fear:
          My feet are frozen,
          For I have been chosen
To be a snowman this year.

From Monika: (Jan, 2016)

There once was a cake of cheese,
Which brought people to their knees.
          Its author a victor,
          with KitchenAid mixer,
Bake it again for me, please!

From Sylvia: (Jan, 2016)

When things go awry in the house
I call on my wonderful spouse
          Who fixes them all
          As soon as I call
And give me no chances to grouse.

There was a good fellow named Viktors
Who too many oodles of pictures
          If unflattering bodily
          Or blinkingly oddly
"Let's dump it," he says, "If it's yours."

House concerts are fun but there's work
If we host them there's no way to shirk
          You record and set chairs
          Wash dishes and share
In the chores! You're a prize! (not a jerk!)

I'm lucky and happy as can be
Because Viktors is husband to me!
          It's really quite rare
          To find love and true care
And together live so perfectly!

From Laura: (Jan, 2016)

Programming with virtuous fervor he has sat,
his arrays holding the Grid byte-ingly exact.
          With caffeine intake sustaining,
          his energy never waning,
devout patience he proves to be of world impact.

From Monika: (Dec, 2016)

Viktors loves vessels airbound,
to him it is most profound
          to build hexicopters
          or levitate proper
in jetplanes and soar all around!

From Karinne: (Dec, 2017)

An Austrian with abs like rock
Brought in to a tailor his socks
          "To make these fit you
          Would take a week, maybe two"
"Well then," Arnold said, "I'll be back"

From Helena: (Dec, 2018)

There was an old lady one day
Who wanted the pigeons away
          So she squeaked and she squawked
          All day at the flock
Until they all left in dismay.

From Kelsy & Joy: (Dec, 2018)

Viktors, d man who loves pi;
Not Euler's, Avogadro's, or i.
          His wi-fi password? Heart-rending!
          With its digits unending.
He's a pineapple pie, pi-loving guy!'

From Timothy Corcoran (Jan, 2019)

There was an old lady from Youghal
Who wanted to make a phone call.
          However she lost
          the fourpence it cost
and now she can’t make it at all.

From Davud Studhalter (Jan, 2019)

To start an eighth decade
Take heart you'll always have
Time enough for love

From Don Strick (Jan, 2019)

Saluting Viktors on his birthday!
So much to celebrate, hooray!
          From inventions galore
          To his pianos, and more
Plus his marriage to lovely Ms. Gray

From Mark Martin (Jan, 2019)

"I'll levitate this and I'll levitate that"
said the man with the blue Keck shirt on his back
          computers and more,
          Tesla coils galore,
and the universe is all mathematics.

From Barbara Gordon-Lickey (Jan, 2019)

Viktors's a man with a knack
for explaining why some holes are black.
          If anything nears,
          it just disappears.
He says that it never comes back.

From Ardonna Manous (Jan, 2019)

You dazzler, you!
Is there anything you can't do ?
You're one of the FEW . . .

Music, invention . . .
There is much more to mention.
A Renaissance Man!

His smile is so shy
With a twinkle in his eye -
Viktors, a fine friend!

Music, invention . . .
There is much more to mention.
A Renaissance Man!

From Cynthia Smith (Jan, 2019)

With 70 candles
You've no love handles
You are lucky to still have your hair
For some you're a mentor
To others an inventor of things that twirl in the air
You make cheesecakes with toppings a plenty
And sheet cakes that print in 3D
You claim no convection perfection.
But still it's a happy BD.

From Stephen Page (Jan, 2019)

There once was a pianist born a Germanian
Who only spoke like a Latvian
          He used to practice more
          But he is now feeling quite sore
He just got 70 whacks on his heinie-end

From Satomi Sano (Jan, 2019)


Ko Ki Ni Ma U
E N Ju Ku No Ne Ni
Mu Tsu Ki No Hi
  translation:
On the celebration of special 70th birthday
more mature and mellow sound you play
dancing softly in the gentle January sunray.

From Mary Mann (Jan, 2019)

There is an inquisitive man with a lens
Who takes pretty pictures from his den
          He silently records the happy faces
          Fragrant offerings fill the spaces
All harmonized to Debussy's Reverie in Zen.

From Shelley Baker-Gard (Jan, 2019)

One snowy night
a kernel of comfort-
popping the corn

From Judy Potts (Jan, 2019)

Of Viktors it can often be said
That he spends lots of time in his head
          His brain is astounding
          Neurotransmitters abounding
A uniquely creative thoroughbred.

In spite of his brilliance he's so self-effacing
He deflects compliments but works hard at embracing
          His interests and passtions
          Of various fashions
And he gets it all done without even racing.

Viktors is learning the Grieg
Which is totally out of my league
          But he's very persistent
          Once he gets on the scent
Of some music he loves - so screw the fatigue!

Viktors has a strong proclivity
For science and music, with great sensitivity
          C# or D♭?
          He can tell - just like that
By his knowledge of special relativity.

There once was a man from the north
From his mind ideas forever pour forth
          Some are great, some are weird
          But so what! They've appeared!
And who is this genius? Why Viktors, of course!

Viktors is a modern-day Renaissance Man
A pianist, scientist, inventor, pilot, artisan
          He can tune up a Steinway
          Write code, host a soiree
Bake cheesecake, run the World Grid; OK - I'm a fan!

I remember when Viktors and Sylvia met
At the Van Cliburn; they'll never forget
          He was clearly her type
          They had dinner on Skype
And neither has had a moment's regret.

From Sylvia (Jan, 2019)

My Viktors is clever and cunning
He's wonderfully thoughtful and loving
          He's kind and he's careful
          He still has his hair full
And keeps all things perfectly running.

From Dagny (Jan, 2019)

Maple leaves scatter the sunlight,
Dancing to breezes till deep night,
          When quiet hands heavy
          Nocturnals gain headway
Revelry reigns till day's Bright.

Ocean breaths flow far
Endless blue horizons merge
Sirens beyond sing

From Monika (Jan, 2019)

Portland wintertime
An open piano plays
Lemon custard pie


From Rory (Jan, 2019)

There was an old man from Portland
Who never had time to learn shorthand


From Dan and Samantha (Jan, 2019)

When we stop and consider life's brevity,
You're sure to have one of longevity.
          A few aches and pains,
          You're sure to make gains....
You're still looking good at seventy....

From Margaret and The Beast (Jan, 2019)

There once was an old fart inventor,
whose mind fine ideas did enter.
          When his wife became miffed,
          `cause the bench wouldn't lift,
he wired the thing to ass-send her!

There once was a pianist, they said,
who loved his raw garlic on bread.
          But when he breathed on his wife,
          to within an inch of her life,
she said "let them eat popcorn instead!"

From Herbert Sermol (Jan, 2019)

There once came a pianist to Austin
who fondled the keys to exhaustion
          Sylvia said: "Fondle me
          instead of the key"
Cried out Viktors: Lett's do it with passion.
    Note: A "Lett" is a Latvian

From Sibyl Jarrett (Jan, 2019)

          My brain you bend far
too cold to think this for you
          Happy Birthday Love

From Miyuki Sakiyama (Jan, 2019)


Hatsuharu ni Kimi wo iwaishi Kaze no oto
  translation: As the new year opens, even the sounds of the winds are celebrating your birthday.

From Juan Hindo (Viktors' manager at IBM) (Jan, 2019)

Poor Viktors, retirement was his goal
Instead, he finds himself on another research call
          He's just so hard to replace
          But it's something we have to embrace
Let's just hope it won't take until the fall!

From Jim and Betsy Elliott (Jan, 2019)

There once was a man with a full head of hair
Some bald guys think this is unfair
          It is brown with no gray
          And this is the way
It guards a brain beyond compare

From Sally Van Meter (Jan, 2019)


From my organ the brain to the hand
He designates notes to the stand
          Sounds are determined by Viktors
          Grounds to be seen as a trickster
From little he delights as a band

When my ears hear colors I'm afraid
I may have missed a beat instead
          Although I do seem to keep the rhythm
          Keep tapping my feet and then some
While others clapped their hands it was said

A year or so ago in this very room
She played it you may assume
          His wife makes him garlic sandwiches
          And despite any nasal damages
Surely he still does consume

From Juan Hindo (Viktors' manager at IBM) (Jan, 2019)

Poor Viktors, retirement was his goal
Instead, he finds himself on another research call
          He's just so hard to replace
          But it's something we have to embrace
Let's just hope it won't take until the fall!

From Judd Robbins (April, 2019)

For Viktors, the host
A pleasure for most
With family and friends
To everyone's ends

From Helena: (Dec, 2019)

Scuttle and scurry away
Cat and mouse is the game
          The mouse tries to flee
          Right under the tree
The cleanup will take all day.

From Monika: (Jan, 2020)

We wintered this year on an island
Which is quite a lot nicer than my land
          With plenty bananas
          And great panoramas
We wish you good times from the highland!

From Helena: (Jan, 2020)

A bump, a thump and a bruise
On video makes me amused
          He got hit on the head
          But I don't think he's dead
Just maybe a bit confused.

From Sylvia Gray: (Jan, 2021)

Though the calendar says it's his birthday
Viktors' mop shows no trending toward decay
          Said his wife: "It's not fair!"
          I'll color my hair
So we match until both of us go gray.

From Judy Potts: (Jan, 2021)

Your birthday has arrived at a crazy time
When the world is awash in chaos and crime
          The worst perpetrator
          The would-be dictator
Is about to shift his paradigm.


My wish for your birthday is this:
You get pineapple ice cream and a great big kiss,
          You enjoy the whole day
          Perhaps cook a souffle
And continue with your metamorphosis!


As a Renaissance man, Viktors does his part
For science, technology, community, and art
          This thoughtful amigo
          Doesn't have a big ego
But he certainly has a big heart.


The future is not unfolding as expected
We're more isolated yet strangely connected
          There is no transporter
          Or a dream disc recorder
And a viable jet pack has not been detected.

From Shelley & Leonard: (Jan, 2021)

There is a nice guy who loves bright comets
Although from a night sky they do vomit
          He doesn't fear how fast they fly
          because they shine like birthday pie
with candles blowing out as they plummet.


Though Covid cut the party play
He still had a happy birthday
          because he was told
          He did not look old
even with his mask pulled away.

From Pat Jussila: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a man with a drone
Who now is required to stay home
          But he works, never sitting
          Making sure all is fitting
Without a complaint or sad moan.

From Deena and Larry: (Jan, 2021)

There was a smart man from Sellwood
who always played piano when he could
          have concerts with friends,
          and invent odds and ends,
That marvelous Viktors from Sellwood!

From David Stabler: (Jan, 2021)

There was an old man in a shed,
Who could make things out of his head.
          His gadgets ranged widely,
          But at times, they went sidely,
And proved what his wife always said.


There was an old man with a plan,
Who liked to make things with elan.
          But when his wife learned
          That his house he had burned,
She had to give him the can.


We once knew a man named Viktors,
Who got up to all kinds of tricksters
          In his garage he did make,
          All things and a cake,
For which he could use all his mixters.

From Celia Carlson: (Jan, 2021)

A bunch of musicians would bow and blow
Scraping and tooting trombone and cello
          But one day they stopped
          Because by Viktors they were topped
Who blew them all away on piano.


They say never run with scissors;
You'l fall and slice out your gizzard.
          But forget playing safe;
          A prodigy's no waif.
Set fire to the keyboard like Viktors.

From Melissa Shuler: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a man called Berstis,
In unconventional invention he was Firstis,
          His mind was in Space,
          And his Heart held in sway--
By his own true love: the Inimitable Miss Sylvia Gray.

From Richard Smith: (Jan, 2021)

I knew a man who loved to tinker
A Gentleman and a Freethinker
          He owned a beautiful Steinway
          And in my mind anyway
His playing was never a clinker

From Phil Mandel: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a man from Eastmoreland
Who enjoyed playing piano four-hand.
          Said he to his wife,
          his elixir of life,
I love when we play this conCERT grand.

From Gloria Sthay: (Jan, 2021)

With last year tucked in a folder,
The weather is now a bit colder,
          So Covid we toss
          The riots are loss
And Viktors is now a year older!

From Larry Loen: (Jan, 2021)

There was an old man, lived in Portland
Who played the piano as sport and
          His wife did the same
          There is no one to blame
So they played each other in Portland

From Bruce McFarland: (Jan, 2021)

There was a computer man from Oregon,
Who studied the mathematics of a polygon.
          He knew he was right,
          and his future looks bright;
It's the physics the world is based on.

From Judy and Buck Skelton: (Jan, 2021)

There was a young man from Lat-via
who loved 3-D printers and Coke Zero-via
          He played piano forty
          just like Mussorgsky
posting YouTubes with lovely Syl-via
- Elbin diFalco: Poet Idiot of Igmundo Gaspia

From Collin Murphy: (Jan, 2021)

There was an old man from Siam
Who was trapped inside some big jam.
          He filled up his dish
          And said "how delish"
And he swallowed it all as he swam.
          He said, "What good jelly"
          Now I'll have a big belly!
And soon I'll get cooked like a clam.

From Joel Rosenbaum: (Jan, 2021)

To you, my new-found friend
It's birthday greetings I send.
          May Grieg's music stream
          And joy reign supreme!
And may COVID finally come to an end.

From Karinne Berstis: (Jan, 2021)

Our rug was the pride of our habitat
We kept it quite clean, didn't tread on it
          Yet come morning we found
          Called by a horking sound
The cat had chose the rug on which to vomit

From Win Hall: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a pianist named Berstis
Who rated his Steinways firstis.
          When trying his hand
          At a lesser brand
He cried, "this is really the worstis!"


There was an inventor called Viktors
Whose inventions defied all descriptors
          Visitors might be excused
          For looking confused;
Perhaps they'd do better with pictures.

From Dan Aguayo: (Jan, 2021)

Antonin Dvorak (1841-1904):
There was a most musical Czech
Who loaded his cargo on deck
          In the New World he found
          Such a satisfying sound
That it knocked the socks off Janacek

From Monika Berstis: (Jan, 2021)

Lockdown in Winter With Twin Toddlers:
At our home it's a bit Lego-y and blockey
But for us things aren't too rocky
          Outside it's raining
          It's more entertaining
At home here with Shouty and Squalky

From Dagny Berstis: (Jan, 2021)

"Butterfly Effects":
A delicate flutter distracted,
the bird through the window impacted,
          which stopped a pair's fight,
          left love burning bright,
and cheered how their friends interacted.

"A spinal surgery limmerick":
Asleep on narcotics she'd had it,
kept punching the surgeon like rabid,
          one nerve shifted here,
          remove some bone there,
she woke gladly painfree and candid!

From Sallee Humphrey: (Jan, 2021)

On the street of Berkeley Place
resides a man with a sly smile on his face.
          Skilled in science, music and art,
          Viktors is obviously really smart
with mad skills that don't go to waste.

From Jane Harris: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a piggy named Peg
Who had a strange fly on her leg
          It scared her so bad
          She nearly went mad,
Cried "beer", and swallowed the keg

From Joanna & Eric: (Jan, 2021)

There was a man by the Courts.
Who decided to build fun forts.
          But it rained every day
          And washed it away.
And now he is all out of sorts.

From Paula Markgraf: (Jan, 2021)

A Berkeley Place man was so smart,
His inventions oft looked like art.
          His music was fine,
          And his wife so sublime,
That he kept all his blessings at heart!

and a haiku:

Perched on a hillside,
Birthday birds and maples, cheer.
Flowing creek ahead.

From Sally Chrchill: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a fella named Viktors
Who's a mender and an inventor
          He fixed my broke oven
          I just gotta love him
And say "Happy Birthday" once more!

From Deborah & George Olsen: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a pianist in Fort Worth
Who said it would give him great mirth
          To play right away
          And not to delay
And that, by friends, was the birth..

Of a friendship and soon a romance
Between Sylvia and Viktors who dance
          Over keyboards together
          In all sorts of weather
That exchange of times was a chance.

To bring happiness to a pair
For whom we greatly do care
          They're the best
          We attest,
So celebrate: you're both rare!

From Joy & Kelsy: (Jan, 2021)

There once was a year, 2020.
Tribulations it brought us a plenty!
          But we made it through
          and turned the map Blue.
For progress we'll watch Dems intently.

From Karinne: (Jan, 2022)

My dad had a prized cheesecake recipe
that I could have "over his dead body"
          so I waited around
          'til he "accidentally" drowned
and now I have his cheesecake daily

"Magic Bean Seeds" From Dagny: (Jan, 2022)

Yogurts yield homes for a new plant,
Vik and his beanstalks are exuberant!
          Greens grow wide and sky high,
          till a frost did come by,
and they melted to spaghetti mutants!

"Ode to Omicron" From Collin Murphy: (Jan, 2022)

There was a young lady from Spain
Who said "These masks are a pain!"
          So she tokk hers off,
          Then developed a cough!
But with luck, her symptoms did wane!

From Margaret Bloomfield (Jan, 2022)

To avoid becoming forlorn
He created the perfect popcorn
          He says with delight
          "I have it every night
Hey, at least it's only food porn!"

From Jerry Bobbe (Jan, 2022)

If anyone's late to the door
they'll miss Viktors who starts right at four
          His music reflects,
          that he never neglects,
to show us he's never a bore.

Four from Judy Potts (Jan, 2022)

Viktors needs more than five lines
To extol all the ways that he shines
          There's the piano of course
          Wherein he is a force
Plus he's the creator of electronic designs.

If you hear his rendition of Schumann
You wonder if he's super-human
          Both precision and art
          Sensitivity with heart
We are stunned by his musical acumen.

Viktors makes the best popcorn in town
His cheesecake is widely renown
          He's the consummate host
          But you don't hear him boast
And you don't see him wearing a frown.

Birthdays arrive with impunity
Hurray for geezer unity!
          Here comes another candle
          How many can you handle?
But it gives us a limerick opportunity!
(And maybe some covid immunity!)

From Monika (Jan, 2022)

I tried writing a poem in late Greek,
But it started to sound quite oblique.
          Instead now I'm late,
          But made the due date,
To wish you a happy birth week!

From Judy Potts (Jan, 2023)

I'm not sure I'll be at the meeting
So I'm sending this limerick greeting
          You don't like a fuss
          So just between us
This message is not worth repeating.

Happy Birthday! At our age, what does this mean?
That your life is noteworthy, though you're not still a teen
          You deserve a celebration
          Just ignore the depreciation
And indulge in your favorite cuisine.

Is there a gift that you're hoping to get?
I know that it isn't a yacht or a pet
          Or a new concert grand
          No matter the brand
In the piano department, you're totally set!

You don't need a car or a rare book collection
Your material life has been honed to perfection
          It's the intangible stuff
          That is never enough
Which is often the subject of focused reflection.

I learned just last week of your stellar resilience
So you don't need more T-cells or even more brilliance!
          Your star shines so bright
          That it lights up the night
And illuminates all of your great versatilliance!

Your limerick collection must be immense
An oeuvre of total magnificence
          Your birthday's now known
          For its poetic tone
And its aura of thrilling grandiloquence.

A-A-B-B-A is the rhyming scheme
Of limericks (and the random meme)
          It's easy to create one
          And fun to celebrate on
Especially when there's such an inspiring theme!


From Jerry Bobbe (Jan, 2023)

That no one wants tracked dirt it's true,
so we all must give Viktors his due.
          He'll behave the right way
          to keep stained floors at bay,
in fuzzy slippers of whites, black and blue.


From Laura & Joel 2023)

Viktors likes to play piano all day,
No cold or flu can keep him away.
          "I'll play some Rachmaninoff!"
          He said with a sneeze and cough.
He's had his Covid booster so he'll be OK.


From Monika: (Jan, 2023)

Viktors finds himself cooking tons
But his dishes are particular ones:
          With great kinesthesia,
          The first course is pizza,
Then salsa with cinnamon buns.

From David Yost: (Jan, 2023)

Challenged to write Viktors a Limerick,
I sought help and was given some turmeric,
          But that's just an herb,
          I need more like a verb,
Feh, Limerick turmeric rhetoric.

From ChatGPT: (Mar, 2023)

There once was a programmer named Vik
Whose skills with math were quite slick
          For lunch we'll dine
          And talk code divine
A friendship that's sure to stick!

From Joy & Kelsy: (Dec, 2023)

There was a great fellow named Berstis
Who popped corn with a method revers-ed
          He put salt in the bowl
          Shook the kernels just so
Then heated the pan 'til they bursted!

From Karinne: (Dec, 2023)

For night after night heard the cat
The squeak and the skitter of rats
          She confronted them one night
          But they just woundn't fight
So they're friends now and that is that

From Sylvia: (Jan, 2024)

There once was a husband named Vik-
-tors whose mind was amazingly quick
          For he followed his hunches
          And fixed things in crunches
He turned out to be quite the pick!

From Judy Potts (Jan, 2024)

After "the holidays", January arrives
Not much to look forward to in our wintery lives
          But hark, here your birthday comes
          To lift us from the doldrums
And create some excitement - the spirit revives!

Viktors is a quiet kind of guy
Laconic and a little bit shy
          But if you need a favor
          He'll be your lifesaver
And help you without batting an eye!

He recently healed from a terrible wound
You should have seen how his poor leg ballooned
          He hardly complained
          Even though he was pained
And still managed to keep those Steinways tuned.

His piano playing thrill his friends and fans
He creates fine art with those amazing hands
          From Schumann to Bach
          Plus his photographs rock,
The scenery, the cosmos, the kids and the grands!

Does he ever get nervous? You'd never know it
Because no matter what, he doesn't show it
          A Renaissance man, who is very kind too
          And succeeds at whatever he sets his mind to
But as for public praise, (I think) he'd rather forego it.

When Viktors blows out his candles this year
He'll probably wish that no wounds interfere
          With their plans for traveling
          Which last year were unraveling
So stay tuned for a new travel frontier!

From Monika: (Mar, 2024)

Confounding all one predicts,
He woke up that morning transfixed,
          On a colorful banner
          Which had appeared by some manner
Reading "Happy 75th + 1/6!"


Thanks to all of you!



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